Riding Ryder Page 4

  Caleb sighed, weary of everything. If only he could just sleep for a week. No work, no Logan, nothing. Just him. Not even any dreams. He didn’t even think he had the strength to meditate, to refresh his inner self. Logan was still half-turned toward him, looking at him intently.

  “Because I don’t want to have the conversation. But…” He lifted and then dropped one shoulder. “I want to hear you say it. All of it. Everything you are thinking. Then once I’ve answered, I’ll ask you if you are ready to come to the house with me. Yes, it is as critical as that.”

  “But you know what I’m thinking,” Logan replied plaintively.

  “Yeah, and so do you. But to understand what you are asking, really understand, you need to vocalize your thoughts.” He watched Logan’s face intently. Did he realize that this conversation was, in effect, make-or-break time?

  “Okay, then.” Logan sounded resigned. “Bugger, Caleb, I need to get out of here so I can see your face clearly. Can we?”

  “No problem.” Caleb hesitated. “Bed? I’m not sure if that’s the best place, but let’s give it a go.” Caleb stood, ignoring Logan’s thoughts, and threw him a towel. He watched as Logan caught it and wiped the droplets from his body, then returned it to allow Caleb to do the same. As Caleb wiped his face, he was surrounded with that special essence, the scent of his lover. Was there anything more arousing?

  “Move, or else we’ll never get this conversation underway. Now that it’s uppermost in both our minds, we need to have it.” Throwing his towel down, Caleb began to laugh, as Logan’s thought came across loud and clear.

  Nice ass; wouldn’t mind myself in there for a bit.

  Caleb wouldn’t mind it himself, either.

  After walking to the bedroom, each moving smoothly to opposite sides of the bed, Caleb threw back the covers, sat down, and leaned against his pillows, watching hungrily as Logan did likewise before turning slightly, so he could see his face.

  They really should be having this conversation sitting opposite each other, across a table where temptations to forget everything except themselves would be less obvious, Caleb realized. However, sensing Logan needed to feel the closeness of their bodies, he gave in to temptation. Unheeding of what he ought to do, he put his arm around Logan’s shoulder and pulled him to his side.

  “Maybe not a wise move,” he said, his tone wry. “But what the fuck. I need a hug.”

  Logan laughed and proffered the hug. “You and me both, mate. So, all right. Simply and somberly: what happens next?”

  “Exactly in what way? Say it, Logan. Every last bloody thought I can see. Say all of them.”

  “O-fucking-kay. You want them? Well, you’ll get them.” Logan was shouting now. Caleb said nothing, just continued to hold him tight. He didn’t need to be able to see Logan’s thoughts. They were glaringly obvious. He was aware that Logan’s shoulders had started to shake.

  “Sheesh, Logan, don’t cry; it’s all right. Please don’t cry. I’ll tell you; you don’t need to get upset. Honestly, come on. Ssshhhh. Oh love, it’ll be fine. I promise you.” Well, no, actually, he couldn’t promise that, probably the opposite, but he didn’t think Logan could handle that information at that moment. Bloody hell.

  Logan cuddled in and spoke, his voice muffled. “Don’t talk crap, and don’t patronize me. We both know you can’t promise me everything will be all right. Even I’m not such a moron as to believe that shit. But I’m praying to all the gods we know that it’s not all over. Why can’t it work? We both know the score.” His voice became stronger, although he didn’t pull away from Caleb’s embrace. “I’ll start. What next? We are lovers. That’s a fact. Neither you nor I will say it was a one-night stand, a quickie, or say it meant nothing. If it meant nothing, we wouldn’t be so drained. A bigger fact: tomorrow you go back to the house, with or without me, and screw your clients. Right so far?”

  Caleb nodded. It was succinct and crude, but correct.

  Logan took a deep breath, then asked, “Will that change now?”

  Slowly he shook his head. “No. It’s what I do.”

  The silence in the room was broken only by the sounds of their breathing, one ragged, one slow and measured. Somewhere outside, a raven was cawing to its mate. Caleb’s heart lifted. It seemed to herald the promise of change that ravens signified—he hoped it would be for the better.

  Logan spoke again. “Neither of us wants this, this love, to stop. And I’m calling it love. We don’t want to give up what we might have, do we?”

  “No.”

  “Therefore, Cal, I’m coming with you. Whatever happens. When you made love to yourself and I watched, I could feel you in me. Even though I know I didn’t feature for you except as the one watching. It was magic.” He paused, and Caleb stiffened. Here it was, crunch time, round one.

  “But, Cal, to help me, I do need to know some things. And they are hard to ask.”

  Caleb nodded. “I know. They won’t be a walk in the park to answer either. But you need to ask them, so go ahead. I’ll be honest. Even when I know the answer might hurt you. Fair enough?”

  “Fair enough.” Logan hugged Caleb tightly. “Life’s a bitch. I fall for someone, hard; I know he feels the same for me, and sex gets in the way.” His tone was so full of disgust, Caleb had to laugh.

  Logan chuckled with Caleb. “Yeah, we can laugh, but it’s true. Right, I’ve buggered around the subject for long enough. Here goes.” Logan took a deep breath, and Caleb waited anxiously. The act of asking the questions was almost as unnerving for Logan as it was for him to answer them.

  “Firstly. Well, not ‘cause it’s the most important, but because I’ve got to start somewhere.”

  “Logan!”

  “Right, sorry. Well, sometimes you do have actual, physical sex, yes? With either sex?”

  “With either sex,” he confirmed. “Not your sister, though.”

  “That’s question number two answered.” Logan sounded relieved. “Fuck, this is hard; I’m shitting myself here. So next question, er, um…”

  Caleb put him out of his misery. Or into it, depending on his view. “Yes. With both, sometimes together. Or just blokes who are partners. And I give and receive. Next question?” He would make Logan say it. This was not going to be a one-sided conversation.

  “Do you enjoy it? Any of it? All of it? Do you come?”

  “Of course I come; sometimes I have to. How can you explain the joy of having someone inside you if you have never experienced it? Enjoy? In as much as I am helping people achieve their sexual satisfaction, then yes, I enjoy it.” Could Logan understand? “Enjoy it like I enjoyed being in you and hope to enjoy you being in me?”

  Logan nodded.

  “Then, no. That was us, two halves of a whole. My job is different. I wouldn’t see it as betraying you,” Caleb spoke honestly. “How you see it will be up to you. The crux is though, Logan, I can’t stand the thought of you doing what I do. Whether you are bi or gay, I personally wouldn’t be able to cope with the thought of you and someone else. In any way. Hypocritical or what?” Caleb asked quietly.

  Jeez. “Nah. Just honest.”

  Chapter Six

  Could he cope with it all? Logan contemplated the question for what seemed the millionth time and still didn’t come up with an answer. One thing was for certain. He wasn’t going to follow in Caleb’s footsteps. One sex guru in the family was enough. Because as sure as the tides ebbed and flowed, he wanted to be a family with Caleb. Just like that, Logan knew the truth. He needed Caleb; he was his other half. His yin to yang. His Romeo to Juliet. Suddenly, and without warning, he knew he wanted to be part of a couple. He had found his soul mate in Caleb, who had to be the other part of his life forever.

  “Are you sure? It’s going to be very hard.”

  “So, now you’ll answer my questions before they even become questions, eh?” Logan strived for a lighthearted tone. “Bloody typical. You never mentioned my first thought, though.”

  “No.” Caleb spo
ke in a grateful manner. “I’m almost afraid to see if you really mean it. But you do, don’t you?”

  “Yup. As long as the situation is not the only thing that gets hard, we’ll survive. And thrive. But I still want to help.” Logan wasn’t afraid to admit that. “And yeah, before you ask, I’m scared shitless. I never thought I’d feel this way about someone, and never quite so ‘wham he’s the one,’ either. But I have, and I do. So.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “I know I have to give, make allowances, and help in whatever way I can. Not with your side of things, but in other ways. Hell, I’ve a business and marketing degree, so there must be something I can do. As well as being the one you come home to, the one you come to for loving.” He wondered anxiously if that would be enough.

  “What about the sex, though? What will you say or feel if I come into our home, tired, smelling of sex, and say I’m too knackered to make love to you?”

  Ah, that was the bottom line. Logan took a deep breath. “You probably already know what I’m about to say, but I’m going to say it out loud, anyway. I will feel gutted and tell you to shower before you come home next time. Then I’ll take you by the hand into our shower, soap you all over, and rub myself all over you, so my essence is part of you. Then I’ll lovingly screw you, so it’s our love that lingers on you, on us, and satisfies you. And then, hopefully make myself come for you, for us.” He was silent for a moment. “Will I resent it? Of course I will. Will I retaliate? Of course I won’t. Will I try not to let the resentment fester and spoil what we have? I bloody well hope so. Will I help you? Yes, I will. Will I do my utmost to keep your work and us separate? Yup. Will I succeed?” He shrugged. “We’ll see. Am I horny as hell and want your sweet ass? Oh yes.”

  “Well the last one is easily dealt with.” Caleb stretched his body out on the bed and pushed the covers down to his waist. As he moved, Logan copied him, marveling at the lighter atmosphere now that they had talked. “I’m here. Over to you, and oh yeah, just like that.”

  “Bastard,” Logan said with no anger. “Knowing you know what I know, almost before I know, is weird. You know?”

  Caleb roared with laughter, his shoulders shaking. “Oh yes, I know. And the scarves are in the left-hand drawer. Condoms and gel are in the drawer below.”

  “Sometimes it’s handy you knowing,” Logan commented as he rummaged through the drawers, finding what he wanted. If this was his chance to show Caleb even one of the things he had to come back to after his work, then by God, he would show him. Their lovemaking, any which way, was going to be something not to be missed. Caleb made no comment. Logan could see by the look in his lover’s eyes that Caleb knew what he had thought. “Can you blank my mind off for a while, Cal?” he asked.

  Caleb grinned. “Yeah, you want me to, don’t you? Okay, give me a sec.” Logan watched as Caleb’s eyes went to a deep, almost black, shade. “Right. You’re tuned out. And I’m hard, horny, and excited to find out what we are going to do.”

  God, he was in the same state. This time it was all up to him. After moving to lie partially on top of Caleb, he nipped, then soothed each hard nipple in turn. Caleb’s rod was erect and ready, nestled between their bodies as they leaned against each other; his own cock was firm and eager to meet its opposite. Lips moved slowly down Caleb’s taut abdomen, his fingers fisted into the swirl of curls that covered his groin, angling toward his crotch. He tangled and teased the silky strands, drawing a moan of pleasure from Caleb.

  “Do you have a safe word, Cal?” The quick flare in Caleb’s eyes showed he understood what he was asking.

  “Do you?”

  “Surf.”

  “Then ‘surf’ it is.”

  “Sure? Will you remember? Or is that a stupid question?”

  “I’ll remember.”

  “So be it then.” Moving swiftly, he took Caleb’s hands and held them tight before using two silk scarves to tie first one and then the other to the elaborately carved holes in the wooden headboard. Perfectly placed; he suspected they were being used for the very purpose designated. The grin on Caleb’s face confirmed his suspicions.

  “I always wondered if this frame would be used in the manner it was meant for.”

  He grinned back. “Pity we can’t use the bottom as well; another time, maybe?”

  Caleb growled. “Oh, I’ve got a very good idea for that.”

  His smirk was silly, contagious. “Woo hoo! Look forward to it. Now, though, well, give me a sec. Stop and think about just how I’m going to let my cock take that sweet ass of yours. I need something from my duffle.” Logan slid down Caleb’s body, the friction slow and steady. He gave Caleb a nip on his neck, eliciting a soft groan, before he moved away.

  Caleb lifted his head to watch as Logan rummaged in his bag, making a performance of bending from the waist, his rear toward the bed. He moaned softly. “Jeez, Logan, you’re killing me here.”

  “Nah. That would be a waste.” Finding what he had been looking for, he slid back onto the bed, noting with growing excitement how Caleb’s eyes followed his every move. His eyes still dark, but shining brightly with, he thought, love and desire. He found another scarf and put it on the pillow beside Caleb’s head. “Can you lift your head up a bit, please, so I can loosen your hair?” Caleb did so, and a bolt of pleasure ran through Logan. Who was the Dom now?

  He knew a sense of positive and exciting power, a knowledge that he and Caleb were two halves of one. He picked up another scarf. “Um, hope you are okay with this, but considering your powers, whether you use them or not, I’m blindfolding you. I want you just to sense and feel. Okay?”

  Caleb nodded.

  Thank fuck for that. After tying the blindfold over Caleb’s eyes and checking it was correctly placed, he took the oil he had retrieved from his bag and poured some into his hands until the silky smoothness of it coated them, his emotions rising.

  “Now, my love, time for you to use your abilities.”

  The oil was gently perfumed, and vanilla and lavender assailed their senses. Logan, his hands slippery, began to softly stroke Caleb. He spoke as each touch covered a different part of Caleb’s body.

  “I want you to see with your senses here, Caleb. Use those amazing talents to absorb what is happening. You tell me what I am doing to you. For you. What we will do for us.”

  Caleb moved restlessly on the bed.

  “Stay still.” He stroked harder, to help his lover be still.

  “Fuck, Logan,” Caleb moaned, his voice husky and full of emotion. “It feels so good. So arousing. So…” He trailed off, shuddering with, Logan hoped, sensual pleasure. “All my senses are aware. Heightened. I’m craving your touch. Anywhere, everywhere. Just more of your touch. Oh yeah….oh my…oh sweet….aah mmm.” He was almost incoherent.

  “Um, not seeing you, not knowing where those magic hands will touch next,” he continued, “is so bloody erotic. Such a turn-on. And no, I can’t sense this; I’m just saying. I haven’t experienced this with anyone else.”

  “No?” Shit, that’s a relief. Logan could have cried with pleasure.

  “Never.”

  Mmm, he noticed Caleb didn’t say he wouldn’t ever, but now at least he knew he was the first to give his lover these pleasures. Logan changed the way his hands moved. From soft, slow, and sensual teasing, he began to play Caleb’s body, like a virtuoso playing a baby grand.

  Caleb’s movements became more pronounced. His cock stood high, strong and proud, rearing away from his body, seeking Logan’s attention. His body rose from the bed.

  Logan’s cock was as hard as iron, painfully so. One hand still caressing Caleb, he sheathed himself. His fingers fumbled as his body shook with tension and emotion. He positioned himself at the base of the bed, nudging Caleb’s legs wide apart, and then lifting them to rest on his shoulders.

  Caleb groaned. “Logan, can I see, please? I want to see your face as you come inside me. Come into me, and come into me. You have me so fucking excited; let me see what I’m doing to
you,” he pleaded.

  “Well, mmm.” Logan edged the tip of his cock around the rim of Caleb’s ass. He knew Caleb’s pleasure/pain roller-coaster ride was about to begin. He touched and edged very slightly inside. He heard Caleb’s indrawn breath, and then its release, as he oh so slowly began to push. He moved one hand and pulled Caleb’s blindfold off.

  “Hands stay tied. This is all for you, okay? I get the bonus of fucking you senseless. With my body, I thee worship and all that. You just watch, experience, and enjoy. Oh, and be my guest if you want to come. You know you can do it.” His smile was cocky. Caleb laughed.

  “Yeah, but it’ll be so much more fun if you do it for me. Jeez, Logan, that is fucking incredible.”

  Logan, his cock now buried deep in Caleb’s ass, moved gently. Comfortable, home, and happy, he pulled back slightly, setting a rhythm that was hopefully as pleasing to Caleb as it was to himself. There was no way he could tear his eyes away from Caleb’s cock standing away from his body, pleading for attention. Touching it gently, being rewarded with a sensual shudder rippling all through Caleb’s body and into his own, his hand fisted around the smooth steel shaft. Looking into Caleb’s dark, dark, eyes, he knew he was about to come, and wanted Caleb to do the same.

  “Cal, come for me. Please come for me. If I take my hand away, will you make yourself come? Think of how I’m inside you, and how at any second, I’m going to fill you. I’m that close.” His breath was fast, choppy. He knew, sensed, Caleb was feeling the same emotions as he was.

  Caleb nodded. “Yeah. Oh that is so bloody good, Logan. So bloody… Okay, I’m gonna come. I’m, I’m aaahhhh, jee… yes, oh fucking yes!” Caleb’s cum erupted from him, spilling over his cock and his chest.

  It was all Logan needed. His own shouts of joy and completion mingled with Caleb’s as with one hard, forceful thrust, he came deep inside Caleb.

  He thought his aftershocks were almost as powerful as his climax. Was it seconds? Minutes? Hours? He had no idea how long it was before his body stopped giving him little frissons of pleasure. Beneath him, Caleb’s body was closely mimicking his own.